An Unexpected Encounter: The Day an 8-Year-Old Girl Requested to Meet Me, and What Happened When Our Eyes Met

In 2015, my life took an unexpected turn when I found myself gracing a 20-foot billboard for the Portland Timbers soccer club. The journey to that moment was nothing short of intense. Hundreds of faces vied for attention, each hoping to secure a spot through online voting. And amidst the sea of contenders, my picture emerged victorious. As a butch lesbian who had spent a lifetime concealing her true self, the honor was overwhelming.

There I stood, muscles taut, two axes slung over my shoulders, exuding a confidence I never knew I possessed. It was a stark transformation from the closeted girl who once feared acknowledging her own sexuality. To see myself celebrated so boldly was a monumental milestone, a testament to the journey I had undertaken.

Little did I know, that moment on the billboard would set the stage for an encounter that would touch my heart in ways I never imagined. Years later, I found myself face-to-face with Snapper, an 8-year-old girl whose path intersected with mine through a curious twist of fate.

At first, I was puzzled by her desire to meet me. What could I offer this young girl, whose only knowledge of me came from a towering advertisement? With no children of my own and little inclination towards motherhood, I grappled with how to connect with her.

Yet, as I pondered Snapper's story, I couldn't help but reflect on my own journey. Growing up in the late 1970s, I navigated a world where being a tomboy was met with raised eyebrows and whispered judgments. For years, I brushed off the comments, clinging to the hope that I would someday 'grow out of it.'

But beneath the surface, there was a deeper truth waiting to be acknowledged. It wasn't just my appearance or interests that unsettled those around me; it was the realization of my own sexual orientation. In an era steeped in homophobia, coming to terms with my identity meant confronting a culture rife with prejudice and hostility.

The echoes of those memories resonated as I sat across from Snapper, a reminder of the courage it takes to embrace who we truly are. And in that moment, I realized that our meeting was about more than just a shared billboard or a chance encounter—it was a testament to the power of visibility, acceptance, and the transformative journey towards self-discovery.

In the depths of my youth, I was engulfed by a suffocating silence. There were no openly gay role models to guide me, no beacons of authenticity to illuminate the path towards self-acceptance. Each day, I donned the cloak of heterosexuality, a facade meticulously crafted to blend into the illusion of normalcy. But behind closed doors, the facade crumbled, revealing the raw, unfiltered truth—I was a lesbian.

Loneliness became my constant companion, as I navigated the tumultuous terrain of adolescence yearning for love, for acceptance. Why was I condemned to traverse this labyrinth of existence without a single soul who could acknowledge and embrace the real me?

For years, I masqueraded as someone I wasn't, seeking solace in the numbing embrace of alcohol, a futile attempt to silence the dissonance echoing within. But the truth remained steadfast—I was irrevocably, unapologetically queer.

It wasn't until my twenty-sixth year that I encountered my first taste of genuine love. Amidst the backdrop of the mid-90s, where the shadows of homophobia still loomed large, I found courage in the arms of my girlfriend to step into the light of authenticity. First to my family, then to my friends—a journey fraught with uncertainty, yet infused with the undeniable allure of liberation.

As I embarked on my own voyage of self-discovery, I bore witness to the stirring tides of change rippling through society. Pride parades, protests against discriminatory legislation, and the resounding echoes of voices clamoring for equality heralded a new dawn.

Yet, amidst the clamor of progress, I remained unseen in the tapestry of mainstream culture. That is until the momentous day when Ellen DeGeneres shattered the silence with her resplendent revelation. In her, I glimpsed a reflection of myself—an ordinary woman, extraordinary in her authenticity, unapologetically lesbian.

Ellen's courageous coming-out reverberated through the chambers of my soul, a beacon of hope amidst the shadows of prejudice and shame. Her visibility emboldened countless others, myself included, to stand tall and proud in the face of adversity.

And so, when the opportunity arose to meet Snapper, a young girl whose journey mirrored my own, I couldn't help but feel a surge of anticipation mingled with trepidation. As I approached her home in Portland, her jubilant cries echoed through the air, a harbinger of the profound connection awaiting us both. With each step, I embraced the uncertainty, for in that moment, I knew that our meeting would be nothing short of extraordinary.

Welcome!" Jaimee's warm greeting ushered me into their home, where Snapper stood, a bundle of nervous excitement. I extended my hand with a smile, admiring her ensemble. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I love your outfit — it's very dapper!

Snapper's face lit up, a mixture of joy and bashfulness dancing in her eyes as she murmured a shy "thank you." Jaimee shared a tender anecdote about Snapper's outfit changes before my arrival, a testament to her eagerness to make a statement.

Seated together, Snapper recounted her bold declaration on the first day of kindergarten, a moment of self-assertion that reverberated through her family. Jaimee explained their journey of understanding, how discussions about sexual orientation unfolded naturally, guided by Snapper's unwavering clarity.

Two years had passed since that momentous day, and now I found myself face-to-face with this remarkable young girl who embraced her identity with unwavering certainty. Jaimee's quest to connect Snapper with a role model resonated deeply with me, stirring memories of the profound impact Ellen DeGeneres had on my own journey of self-discovery.

It dawned on me then — perhaps I could be that beacon of affirmation for Snapper, a mirror reflecting her own courage and resilience. Despite the love and support of her family, the specter of homophobia still loomed large, casting shadows on her path.

As we conversed, the purpose of our meeting crystallized. Snapper's uniqueness, her refusal to conform to societal norms, made her vulnerable to discrimination and misunderstanding. In her, I saw echoes of my own struggles, and in that shared understanding lay the seed of connection and empowerment.

In Snapper's journey, I recognized a reflection of my own, a testament to the enduring power of visibility and acceptance. And as we embarked on this journey together, I knew that our encounter was not just a chance meeting, but a catalyst for change, a reminder that each of us has the power to shape our own narrative, to live authentically, and to stand proudly in the face of adversity.

You know," I began, my voice tinged with the weight of a lifetime of experiences, "because I'm a butch lesbian with a very masculine appearance, I've faced my fair share of teasing and constant misgendering.

As I shared this with Snapper, I noticed a flicker of recognition in her eyes, a silent acknowledgment of shared struggles. "What do you do when they call you a boy?" she inquired, her voice tinged with curiosity and vulnerability.

It varies," I replied, reflecting on years of navigating similar encounters. "Usually, I correct them and assert my identity as female. Most people apologize, albeit awkwardly, once they realize their mistake. But some, well, some are just plain rude. In those moments, I try my best to brush it off. They're just projecting their own insecurities onto others.

I could sense the relief in Snapper's demeanor, a glimmer of reassurance that she wasn't alone in her journey. Our conversation flowed effortlessly as Snapper opened up, inviting me into her world with a vulnerability that mirrored my own.

As she led me to her room, I couldn't help but marvel at the surrealness of the moment — a chance encounter with a stranger turned into a profound connection, rooted in shared experiences and mutual understanding. Tears threatened to spill as I grappled with the magnitude of our encounter, realizing the profound impact I could have on Snapper's life.

In the years that followed, I remained a constant presence in Snapper's life, attending basketball games, family dinners, and birthday parties. Our bond deepened as we navigated the complexities of sports, relationships, and family dynamics together.

Watching Snapper blossom into her authentic self filled me with an indescribable sense of pride. Her journey mirrored my own in many ways, yet she faced challenges with a resilience and courage I admired.

Jaimee's words echoed in my mind, a poignant reminder of the significance of my role in Snapper's life. In a world where visibility and acceptance remained elusive for many LGBTQ individuals, I became a beacon of hope, a guiding light for a young girl on the cusp of self-discovery.

As I reflected on the impact of our connection, I realized that sometimes, being a role model isn't about grand gestures or public visibility. It's about showing up, time and time again, to offer support, guidance, and unconditional love. And in that simple act of presence, I found purpose, fulfillment, and a profound sense of gratitude for the opportunity to make a difference in Snapper's life.

It's profoundly humbling to be seen through the eyes of someone as bold and courageous as the persona I projected on that Timbers billboard so many years ago. When I agreed to meet Snapper, I embarked on an uncertain journey, unsure if my story held any significance for her. But deep within, I harbored a fervent hope that my experiences might resonate, that my presence might make a difference in her life. And indeed, it did.

Welcoming Snapper into my world opened my eyes to the profound impact of connection, the transformative power of sharing our stories. In a world fraught with bigotry and intolerance, where being different can invite danger and hostility, our meeting served as a beacon of hope—a testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

Snapper's journey reminded me of the inherent strength within our differences, the potential for our unique perspectives to serve as catalysts for change. Through our shared experiences, I witnessed firsthand the profound truth that our diversity is not a weakness, but a source of strength—a superpower capable of reshaping hearts and minds.

In Snapper, I found a kindred spirit, a mirror reflecting my own struggles and triumphs. And in our shared journey of self-discovery, I discovered a newfound sense of purpose—a calling to uplift and empower those who walk a similar path.

Above all, my time with Snapper reaffirmed a fundamental truth—one that I wish I had heard in my own youth: You are inherently beautiful and perfect just as you are. In a world that often seeks to diminish our worth, it's essential to embrace the fullness of our identities, to celebrate the unique qualities that make us who we are.

As the author of "Excuse Me, Sir! Memoir of a Butch," a small-business owner, and an award-winning activist, I am deeply committed to amplifying marginalized voices and fostering inclusive communities. It is a privilege to share my story, to offer a glimpse into the journey that led me to this moment of connection and transformation.

In my spare moments, I find solace in exploring the breathtaking landscapes of the Pacific Northwest, accompanied by my faithful companion, Dingo. Each hike is a reminder of the beauty that surrounds us and the boundless potential for growth and discovery.

If you have a compelling personal story you'd like to share, I invite you to reach out. Together, we can amplify voices, spark conversations, and foster a more inclusive and compassionate world.

In closing, my journey with Snapper has been nothing short of transformative. Through our shared experiences, I've come to understand the profound impact of visibility, connection, and the power of embracing our authentic selves. As I continue to navigate the complexities of life, I am reminded of the importance of uplifting others, of standing as a beacon of hope in a world too often shrouded in darkness.

Snapper's unwavering courage and resilience serve as a constant source of inspiration, propelling me forward on my own path of self-discovery and advocacy. Together, we have forged a bond rooted in mutual understanding and shared purpose—a testament to the transformative power of human connection.

As I reflect on the journey that brought me to this moment, I am filled with gratitude for the opportunity to make a difference in Snapper's life and in the lives of countless others who may be struggling to find their place in the world. And as I look to the future, I am filled with hope—hope for a world where diversity is celebrated, where acceptance reigns supreme, and where every individual is empowered to embrace their truest selves.

In the end, my encounter with Snapper has taught me that true beauty lies in embracing our differences, in celebrating the unique qualities that make us who we are. And it is my greatest hope that our story will serve as a beacon of hope for others, inspiring them to stand tall, to live authentically, and to embrace the fullness of their identities without fear or reservation.